Totally Disappointing

It was a great few days before the race.  Lots of family love.  So many nice messages from friends and family.  A great lake house.  Stormy weather, but the weather was calm and perfect race day morning.  I'd been out the day before with my coach and was chompin at the bit.  I felt calm and confident.  I can write more later about the experience of being here and all the hub bub.

I want to write now a little about not finishing.

 The water was 53 degrees and calm.  The gun went off and I let the mass go and then got in and started swimming.  The cold took my breath and for whatever reason I couldn't get my breathing together for the first 1.2 miles.  Half way through my first 1.2 mile lap I got a wicked leg cramp. 

Whatever the reasons, I couldn't get my shit together. 

 I've swam the distance in the pool twice during training, I felt calm in the open water at my second Blue Lake Triathlon race a few weeks back, but today it wasn't working out.  I got through my first lap finally at 1:20, they started cutting people from the race behind me.  I stumbled back into the water and swam.  My breathing was still all over the place and I couldn't feel my hands or feet.  1/4 way through my second and final lap a paddle boarder told me I'd be cut from the race at the far buoy.  I got to the far buoy, 1.8 miles in and no body cut me.  I got to 2 miles at the 2:20 cut off time.  They asked me if I wanted to get on a boat as I was cut from the race.  I knew I'd need something to be proud of so I kept swimming and finished the 2.4 miles 19 minutes past the cut off. 
 Who knows why I couldn't pull it off.  Cold? Nerves? Whatever.  I got to shore, last one out of the water.  I was devastated.  My family was there and lots of people were clapping.  I wanted to be alone.  I was so cold.  2:40 in the water swimming.  I got whisked into the warming tent which was filled with other bummed out women.  Some missed the cut by seconds. 
 I know it's just a silly sports event.  I know I am one of the luckiest people for so many reasons.  It's just sad to let myself down so badly.  I wanted to be on my bike so badly.
 I got home and slept, and woke up to family.

I decided I don't want to leave it like this.  I know I am strong enough to complete this race, I have a full year of training under my belt and am in awesome shape.  I don't want to go the rest of my life knowing how close I was to this goal. 

 I decided I would sign up for another Ironman in the next few months and train my ass off and do it.
The only spot was a $1,112 community foundation spot in Ironman Canada August 28.  I'm in.  My grandma has a house there and I can drive which justifies the cost. 

 So here's to 8 more weeks of hard ass training and a hopeful happy ending to this adventure. 

Leaving for Idaho tomorrow...

Last Hood River Pool training workout was today. 
I've swam in so many pools this year!
I'm procrastinating packing right now. 
Off to Idaho tomorrow!

If you want to track me on Sunday, here's how:

Go to: http://ironmanlive.com/tracking.php?race=coeurdalene&year=2011

The race starts at 7am and if I finish it will be before 12am Monday.

Last Name: Jenkinson
Age group 30-35
Bib number 259

Send the good vibes! Here goes!

One Week Countdown

Today, this time next week:

7am Swim Mass Start
9:20 Swim course cut off, I hope I'm biking by this time
1:30pm, better be done with 1/2 bike course
5:30pm bike course closes
9pm better be done with 1/2 marathon
12pm best be done...
Final count down..
We're leaving for Idaho on Wednesday!

100 miles

100 miles
blister buns
teen bulls
crazy ass head wind
hills
llamas
great barns
rain
hills
gels
wind
sun
rain on cement smell
sore buns
done
Ironman will be hard, but probably OK.

11 days

This is the final push til taper.
Today was my second day at my new job.  I'm baking artisan breads at Knead.
It's waking up at 5:45 and learning so much rad stuff about baking that I've wanted to learn for so long, lots of flour, and making things with my hands.  I like it.
Also today I did the full length swim.  Swimming in a pool after this weekend is way easier.  I'm tired but not wrecked.  Which is great.  Tomorrow I bike 100 miles.
Then taper!

I'm in control, I could do this all day

That's my new mantra: "I'm in control, I could do this all day"

It's a result of the main man calling me out that I am indeed not afraid of drowning but rather of being out of control... touche. 
Saturday was my first Triathlon, it was Sprint distance (1/2 mi swim, 12 mile bike, 5k run.)
I freaked the frick out with the swim.  Wednesday was the first time I learned to sight, and I got all confused about breathing, got bumped around a bit and went to a very dark place. I finished fine but was scarred.

Getting Ready

Brother, brothergal, big sis and new niece came and made a sign and it was rad, despite a lingering deep horror at the swimming. I talked to my coach that night, she said don't worry, all first tri swims are traumatic.
Most people wait a week or more soon forget race trauma and want to do another.  I did another the next day, with full force fear.
Saturday eve was food carts and friends, Portland summer wonderful, and lots of well wishes for the race.
Woke up at 5:30 on Sunday, sweating.  Triathlon number 2: 1 mile swim, 21 mile bike, 10k run.  Couldn't stop shitting, scared animal shit.  I can't remember not wanting to do something I was going to do so much.  SO scared for the swim. 8am rolled around, I was standing on the beach in my wetsuit pretending not to cry scared ass tears. We got in the corral, the horn tooted, we went.
It's a head game.  As long as I don't think, it's fine.  Don't think, focus on exhale, I'm in control, I could do this all day. Coming in from the swim I lost my nose plug and main man was there yelling along the shore, easy to spot because luckily he never changes his clothes,  like a champ.
The bike was good, same mantra.  I didn't take a watch so I wouldn't be able to feed the thought gerbils in my head numbers and get all worked up.  A bunch of war planes took off over us, that was noisy.  A lady behind me kept hollering "Thanks for the great pace, keep it up" which was rad.  At one point a 60 year old lady rode up next to me on my same bike and told me she had my same outfit.  She was a badass.  I saw a guy in a tri suit that said "Ted Nugent" on it, like a sponsor? I stopped to pee.  And I spend a lot of time imagining people naked to keep my mind distracted.  It's super easy when everyone's wearing see through spandy suits.

The Finish!

The run was good, I passed a lot of people.
End of race was good, main man, strawberry short cake, no more fear.
I picked up my brother, a free egg incubator, free chicken feeder, free foam leg roller, and a German hitch hiker and we got to come home.  All in time to get to bed early enough so I could get to work this morning at my new job as a bread baker here in Hood River.

Here's my times:
Saturday Sprint
Overall Time: 1:32:10
Division place: 17th
Swim: 19:37, Bike:  39:52,Run: 26

Sunday Olympic:
Overall Time: 3:04:11
Division place: 21st
Swim: 36:29, Bike: 1:25:21, Run: 56:08

17 days

Home!

Coach and I went to Blue Lake this morning. I'm doing my first triathlons there this weekend.

Saturday: Sprint Distance: 8am 1/2 mi swim, 12 mi bike, 5 k run

Sunday: Olympic Distance:  8am .8 mi swim, 22 mi bike, 5.3 mi run

Swam in the water: it's not that cold. Practiced getting pummeled whilst swimming: funny.
Swimming will be a total head game, if I stay calm I have no doubt I can do it.  Get amped up and I'm screwed. So there's that.

I'm so lucky to have such a rad coach.
Then we got beers and lunch and it was good to hear about how most folks get a little high strung before big events and what the plan is for the next couple weeks.
The truth is I'm terrified and an emotional loose cannon.  I'm excited too, but it's scary as shit.
At this point alls I can do is my best every day. 

In other RAD news:
-I'm getting bees and I planted my garden, come on summer!
-Saw a big snake on a bike ride
-I saw what may be the cutest animal: Baby Highland Cattle on the run the other day.
-Grande Finale: Same run... shit my pants! Really! It's true!